I believe in a golden hour. That magic time in the day where you can actually feel the creativity pouring through your finger tips. My golden hour is 11:00pm apparently. I am not a morning person and I cannot be up past 4:00am but I rock 11:00am and 11:00pm. I am once again in my golden hour trying to decide what to write about. Today I was consumed by getting organized and cleaned up my office space. Then I was hit across the head by a horrible headache. It ruined the rest of the day for me, so I sat on the couch for 12 hours watching cooking shows. I love TV, I mean absolutely love it and don't get me started on food because I am a professional eater.
While watching these crazy exaggerations of people eating and competing I am reminded why I am sometimes so annoyed with the rest of the world. There are catty bitches and douch-bag bros who think that they are the worlds gift. The ones that refuse to believe that their shit don't stink and will not take criticism even if its in their best interest. We all know those people right? I hate those people, but I am also a tad bit jealous of those people. Does that make any sense? I wish I was so bold as to not care at all of what others think of me. To be so confident with myself that I could put myself out there. Instead I sit back waiting for others to tell me what to do, how to be . I played this game once, you passed gestures around in a circle. This was supposed to show you what type of leader you are. It was really eye opening because it showed me that I was a follower. I was so busy waiting to see what other people where doing so that I could follow that I would miss my opportunity and be completely lost when it was my turn. When did being a bitch start being such a bad thing? I am scared though of being too honest. I have been told that I can be judgey and mean. My brothers say I have judgey eyes.
Part of the idea behind my words for the year is to learn how to be bold, to be a bitch to stand up for myself and be proud of what I have achieved. I am also reminded of why I love food. It brings people to such a passionate place. It is a genuine piece of your soul. It brings me back to a happy place where three generations of women in my family sit, talk and eat! Those I think are my favorite memories.
Have you ever lost complete control of your concentration? Like, have your mind just swirl in every possible direction? I cannot keep my eyes or my mind in any direction. Is that normal? Who knows. I am sure that other people have felt this way too. I am noticing that 500 words is kind of tough. Finding something to write about is difficult but at least I have done it.